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The truth about Harry Potter that anyone can lie about. 11 articles since May 2009

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WARNING: If you do not already know that Snape kills Dumbledore, this section may contain spoilers.

Snape is revealed to be Voldemort's son. Dumbledore marries Aunt Petunia. Snape gets angry over this, and therefore Snape kills Dumbledore. Finally, it is at last revealed that Harry Potter was not born to James and Lily Potter, but rather was conceived in a one-night stand between Snape and Aunt Petunia. Therefore Dumbledore is Harry's step-father and so is Snape and Uncle Vernon (the former husband). We also learn that Voldemort is half African American. This spins Harry into a personal crisis in which Harry questions his ethnicity. Harry then has a mental breakdown, starts wearing bling, and adds "izzle" to the end of every sentence. This book is mainly important because we learn that Aunt Petunia was a great slut, causing the book sales to hit record numbers when rumors of hot sex descriptions leak out onto the Internet. Six months after the book's release, Rowling was forced to deactivate the Hot Coffee mod that allowed the readers to participate in a mini-game where Dumbledore screws Aunt Petunia.

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