Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Alderaan

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Alderaan is the third book in the Harry Potter series.

Plot
When Harry senses a thousand voices "crying out, and suddenly silenced", he goes to investigate. It turns out that the notorious spammer Seriously Black has escaped from prison and along with Princess Leia of Alderaan has decided to use his magical powers of mass hypnosis to try to break the world "simultaneous interrupted scream by a crowd of people" record. Determined to thwart this evil genius, Harry returns to school, only to end up being diagnosed with dementia and locked in a safe.

Memorable Excerpt
Voldemort: "Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father."

Harry: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Voldemort: "No, I am your father!"

Harry: "No, it's not true! It's impossible!"

Voldemort: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."

Harry: "But my dad is hairy!"

Fun Fact

 * ifferent regional printings include variations that suited the local nationality including title and content changes. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Uzbekestan", Harry is arrested for speaking against Islam Karimov and is boiled alive until he confesses to being an Islamic radical. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Afghanistan", Harry is locked inside a metal shipping crate in the sun and left for dead. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Turkmenistan", Harry accidentally offends Turkmenbashi due to the wording of a spell and is imprisoned for blasphemy. Other copies include "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo Bay" also known as "Harry Potter and the Iraq Incident" in which Voldemort sells Harry to the marines as a Taliban combatant; "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Abu Ghraib" where Harry is stripped naked and forced to cast spells on his privates; "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of North Vietnam" where Harry's Nimbus 2000 is blown out of the sky by a SA-2 attached to a Bludger; and "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Finland" in which Harry can't tell that he's in prison except for the constant reminders that if he ran off, the government would be "very hurt".